One Issue, Different Approaches

 By Sahera

Two Communities, One Issue, Different Approaches

As Ramadan unfolds, my door is flooded with women from my community seeking help—begging for money, clothes, school fees, medical expenses, ration, and rent. My phone is inundated with messages from widows and married women whose husbands are either unemployed or unwilling to work, all pleading for financial assistance.

Having lived in cosmopolitan environments across different cities, particularly in Hyderabad, I have observed two distinct communities facing similar hardships but dealing with them in starkly different ways.

Here are a few real-life stories of resilience and hard work:

• Bhargavi works as a cook at my mother’s house. Her husband, an auto driver, and she have two sons—one in his final year of engineering and the other in 12th grade. Apart from her cooking job, she stitches clothes to earn extra income. Despite her struggles, she is always presentable, hardworking, and composed.

• Kalamma, another maid, has an alcoholic husband who barely contributes financially. She works in seven houses to educate her only son, now in his third year of engineering at a private college. She leaves home at 5 AM every day, embodying perseverance.

• Padma, my mother’s former maid, supports her two children’s education single-handedly. Her daughter is preparing for medical entrance exams, and her son is in his second year of engineering. Despite her husband’s meager earnings as a watchman, she works tirelessly to ensure her children have a future far removed from her own hardships.

• Laxmi, a former maid, was married to an abusive alcoholic who not only squandered his income but also left her burdened with debt. Through sheer willpower and hard work, she raised her children well. Today, her daughter is a bank manager, married to a professional, and raising a stable family.

• Another Laxmi, my son’s former babysitter, endured extreme domestic abuse. Whipped and tortured by her husband, she eventually stepped out after her husband’s demise to work for their livelihood. She never allowed them to work as maids. Instead, both studied at Kendriya Vidyalaya and later pursued engineering and MBA degrees. Today, they are employed at MNCs in Bangalore and Hyderabad.

Some common traits shared by these women :

1. Self-Respect & Independence – They refuse to rely on others and trust their ability to work and earn with dignity.

2. Ownership – They take full responsibility for their families without waiting for their husbands to step up.

3. Vision & Ambition – They dream of a better future for their children.

4. Value for Education – They see education as the key to breaking the cycle of poverty.

5. Never Beg – Even in dire need, they prefer to struggle rather than ask for charity.

6. Gratitude – When they receive help, they appreciate it and often repay it.

7. No Complaining or Self-Pity – They acknowledge their struggles but do not dwell on them or expect sympathy.

8. Work Ethics – They are disciplined, punctual, and maintain cleanliness in their workspaces and personal lives.

The Contrast: A Culture of Dependency

Despite Islam’s strong emphasis on self-reliance and hard work, our community has increasingly fallen into a cycle of dependency. Begging has become a generational pattern, damaging the reputation and dignity of our people. The Quran and Hadith clearly discourage this:

• “Man will not get anything unless he works hard.” (Surah al-Najm, 53:39)

• “It is better for any of you to carry a bundle of firewood on your back and sell it, than to beg someone, whether he gives or refuses.” (HR Bukhari; Muslim)

• “The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is the one that gives, and the lower hand is the one that begs.” (Sahih Muslim)

• “A person who keeps on begging will meet Allah on the Day of Resurrection with no pieces of flesh on his face.” (Sahih Muslim)

• “Nobody has ever eaten a better meal than that which one has earned by working with one’s own hands.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Despite these teachings, why have we allowed ourselves to become a community that begs instead of one that builds?

Root Causes of This Dependency

1. Misplaced Reliance on Zakat – Instead of using zakat funds to uplift themselves, many have made it a permanent crutch, choosing laziness over labor.

2. Distorted Religious Beliefs – Some believe that merely having a Muslim name guarantees Jannah, making effort seem unnecessary.

3. Lack of Role Models – Unlike the resilient women mentioned earlier, many in our community see begging as an acceptable way of life.

4. Poor Work Ethic – Hygiene, discipline, and professionalism are often neglected, making it harder to secure and retain employment.

5. Cultural Conditioning – The practice of asking has been normalized and passed down through generations.

6. Lack of Focus on Education – Many still do not prioritize education, particularly for girls, trapping future generations in poverty.

7. Patriarchy & Gender Roles – Women are often discouraged from working, further reinforcing financial dependence.

Our faith teaches us dignity and perseverance, yet our reality is far from it. We must ask ourselves: How long will this continue? The future of our community depends on the actions we take today.

This is a call to strategize at a societal level to restore self-respect and independence among us. What steps can we take together to bring about lasting change? Let’s initiate this conversation and take meaningful action for the sake of our future generations.

Urgent, practical steps to reverse this trend is the need of the hour!!

Jazakallah Khairan!

Sahera