Did You Say Thank You?
I want to present two scenarios to you. After reading, I would like you to answer a few questions.
Scenario 1
It was a hot summer evening, and Ali had just returned home from a long day at work. He was exhausted and drained from the scorching heat, and all he could think of was a refreshing drink to quench his thirst.
His wife, Aisha, was in the kitchen preparing dinner, and as she saw him enter, she immediately noticed the tired look on his face. Without a word, she went to the fridge and pulled out a tall glass of milkshake that she had made earlier in the day.
"Here, try this," she said, handing him the glass. Ali took the glass and took a sip. The cool, creamy sweetness of the milkshake was just what he needed. "Wow, this is very refreshing," he said, looking at his wife with gratitude. "You have done an amazing job at making this and that too just when I needed it most.’’
Aisha smiled, happy to see her husband feeling better. "I made it earlier, thinking you might need
something refreshing after a long day at work," she said. "I'm glad you like it."
Ali finished the milkshake, feeling much better than he had before. He hugged his wife, thanking
her for her thoughtfulness and making a tasty shake. He then went to take a shower, feeling grateful for the simple but powerful act of kindness that his wife had shown him.
Scenario 2
It was a scorching summer day, and Khalid had just returned home from work. He was tired and parched, and he couldn't wait to have something cold and refreshing. As he walked into the house, he saw his wife, Fatima, in the kitchen, preparing dinner.
Without saying a word, she handed him a tall glass of milkshake. Khalid took a long sip, feeling the cold, sweet liquid flow down his throat. He closed his eyes and savoured the taste, feeling a sense of relief and rejuvenation wash over him.
"Oh this is so good," he said, handing the empty glass back to Fatima. She smiled, happy to see
him feeling better. "No problem," she said. "I made it earlier, thinking you might need something cold and refreshing after a long day at work."
Khalid nodded, still feeling the coolness spread through his body. He felt much better than he had
before, but he didn't feel the need to thank his wife. To him, it was just a glass of milkshake, and he didn't see it as anything special.
Fatima noticed his lack of gratitude, but she didn't say anything.
Over the next few days, Fatima continued to make milkshakes for Khalid, hoping that he would eventually show some gratitude. But he never did. He would drink the milkshake, feel reinvigorated, and then move on with his day, without so much as a thank you.
Fatima began to feel resentful and unappreciated. She felt that she was putting in effort to make
her husband's life easier, but he didn't seem to care.
Do the stories sound familiar? Which story, the first or the second? Which story resonates with you?
And which story appeals you?
We can see that the situations in both the scenarios are the same, the approach of both the wives
is the same but response of the two husbands is so different.
Of course the response of the one who was expressive and grateful is a recommended response.
But sadly, in the majority of the houses we see the second type of response.
The wife feels it is her duty to make her husband feel good, the husband also feels it is the wife’s duty to make him feel good. End of story.
The same equation is followed with parent and child as well. The child believes it is his right to take all the privileges from his parents, and parents serve the child without making him realise that it is a two-way road.
We need to train ourselves to notice and appreciate the little things in life and find joy in the simple pleasures. Things do not simply present or appear on their own. There is always a maker behind every created thing. And only acknowledging the creation, praising the creation, depending on the creation is clearly being ungrateful to its creator. When the mother makes something for the child, it is upon the child to acknowledge the mother’s effort in making it.
Good practices should be instilled right from childhood. Children learn best through observation, and when they see their parents expressing gratitude towards others, they are more likely to develop this habit themselves. Parents should make a conscious effort to thank each other in front of their children for the small and big things they do for each other. This could be as simple as thanking their partner for making them breakfast or doing the dishes.
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and aware in the moment. When we are grateful, we are acknowledging and appreciating the good things in our lives, which requires us to be present and aware of what we have. It also involves taking the time to reflect on our blessings and recognizing their significance.
But is mindfulness a new concept? Mindfulness is the core element of the connection with our Rabb. In fact being grateful is an act of mindfulness.
I will share one of my reflections;
This morning my husband was talking very highly of some food dish that I prepared for him. But in all his exclamatory statements, my mention was never there. I wanted to hear him saying, ‘Muqheeta, you made this very well’. But everything about the food was praised except the person who so thoughtfully prepared it. You might be thinking that it hurt me. Yes, it did hurt me, but not on a horizontal level.
It reminded me about, how grateful am I to my creator? Do I acknowledge His greatness in every amazing sign of His? Do I only see the creation and not think about the creator at that moment?
I thanked my husband for not thanking me which made me think about my own vertical connection.
In Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 164, Allah says, "Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding." This verse urges humans to reflect on the signs of Allah's creation and use their intellect to recognize the truth of His existence and oneness.
The Quran has several verses that ask humans to reflect on the creation around them and recognize
Allah's might and power. For example, in Surah Al-An'am, verse 1, Allah says, ‘‘All praise is due to Allah, who created the heavens and the earth and made darkness and light.’’
It is important for Muslims to always mention Allah's name when they mention His creation because it reminds them of their relationship with Allah as their Creator, Sustainer, and Provider. Allah created everything in this universe, and every creation bears His signature, reflecting His might, wisdom, and
perfection. Therefore, mentioning Allah's name when referring to His creation acknowledges that Allah is the source of all existence and the One who deserves all praise and gratitude.
Islam is a religion which understands and values human emotions. It lays huge emphasis on thanking the people around us.
In a hadith reported by Abu Huraira, we are told
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.” Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4811
Taking a lesson from this hadith, we should remember that appreciating the work of others, especially the work of people close to us, is an important aspect of promoting positive emotions, building trust, and fostering a culture of gratitude. It is also a fundamental aspect of Islamic values which helps in strengthening relationships.
So dear readers, the next time someone makes something nice for you or does something good for you, make sure to acknowledge the person’s efforts made for you. Thank the person for the sake of making your own Jannah. A happy relation will result in a happy life here, and a happy place in Jannah as it pleases Allah swt as well.
And the second most important reminder is – always be mindful of Allah’s magnificence. We have to consciously and continuously recognise and acknowledge the blessings that Allah (SWT) has bestowed upon us, and express our gratitude for them.
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